In his book, The Divine Matrix author Gregg Braden writes: “The root of our ‘negative’ experiences can be boiled down to one of three universal fears (or a combination of them): abandonment, low self-esteem, or lack of confidence.”
At first glance, many may want to argue against the teachings of Greg Braden. “But it’s not my fault that all these horrible things have happened to me,” they will say. How can anyone even begin to claim that I am in any way responsible?
As an example, I will offer you a part of a story that I am currently living with that I believe clearly demonstrates the truth of the Universal Theory of Fears. I hope many of you who read the following will relate, and it is my intention that this story be used to help others in similar circumstances.
There’s a pre-teen girl in our neighborhood who, in the last few years, has turned, well, mean. She has been friends with my daughter since they were 5 years old and even then she wasn’t always the nicest of girls.
she does not confidence that the friendships he develops are solid and he is constantly on the lookout for a snub. As soon as she perceives one, she begins to lash out and drama and heartbreak ensues. As I look at all of this from Universal Fears point of view, I can clearly see that he is a Lack of trust which is at the root of the vast majority of their suffering.
My daughter Emma has been at the sharp end of her friend’s torment several times, and for a while she really suffered for it. I could see how the actions and words of her friend recorded my daughters self-confidence. She began to judge her worth based on receiving the approval of her volatile friend.
At 11 years old I have discovered that my daughter is still quite “foldable”. She still hasn’t decided how she fits into the world. As such, and armed with my knowledge of the importance of high self esteem and learn to, in the words of Wayne Dyer”Be independent of the good opinions of others“My daughter and I are turning this experience into a real gift.
Emma has put notes around her room reminding her how wonderful she is. When her phone turns on, she first sees the words “Hello Awesome”. She has started to write a book about her experiences. And when her friend begins another round of torment, she now finds herself in a place where she can continually remind herself “This has nothing to do with me.”
Like Emma’s sense of Self esteem increases, she becomes more and more able to process her friend’s actions without making them her own. We have also discovered that the more balanced and aloof she stays from her friend’s attacks, the fewer attacks occur.
Only time will tell if they will go away completely. It is my hope that as Emma continues to become more focused and independent of her friend’s outburst, her friend will be able to develop a sense of trust in the relationship, which by definition will enhance her ability to enjoy life. life.
With this story in mind, take a few minutes now and sit with the “negative” experiences that are currently taking place in your life. Can you see how it is not so much what is happening to you, but your reaction, that is causing the suffering? Can you also see that your reaction stems from one of these three universal fears?
Identifying and staying present with this truth is a key step in transforming it. Just keep watching their reactions to life, and when you’re ready, start renaming them.
Getting your phone to read “Hello Awesome” every time you turn it on is a great first step 🙂