Expectations
Having a “party” or not depends on the parents and what makes them feel comfortable. However, it is better to be realistic when it comes to expectations. Throwing a party for a 2-year-old with pony rides, a magician, a jumping castle, decadent food, and a three-tier cake is a waste of money if the expectation is that that child will remember any of it. Chances are they won’t even stay awake or collapse as it’s too much for them. It’s natural to want to celebrate these milestones, but for kids under the age of five, keep a low profile with family and close friends until kids and parents are ready for the responsibility, cost, and exhaustion that comes with it. organize a party (as well as fun, excitement and joy!!)
Guest List
Who to invite seems to cause the most heartache when it comes to children’s parties. Again, it is up to the parents and the child what feels acceptable. Be careful to invite the whole class, unless caring for 20-30 kids isn’t daunting and you have a whip and chair handy. For school-age children, their preferences must be respected. Inviting kids you don’t know at all or don’t necessarily like can lead to social problems that day. Humility and resilience are also important: children should not brag about having a party or being invited to one, but they should also learn that they will not always be invited. More children = more cost, more time and preparation, and more chance of accidents and incidents. However, the age plus one year rule isn’t necessarily practical either: 6 kids won’t necessarily create a party atmosphere or make party games work. A good number is 12 to 15.
RSVP
Do you need to RSVP? YES! Some people put in a lot of effort, time, and preparation when it comes to throwing a kids’ party. There can be many per capita costs like party bags, entertainment, and food. Respect that the organizer has gone to this effort and expense and that your child is looking forward to being around his or her friends. Nor should anyone be put in a position where they don’t have a party bag, cupcake, or prize for a child because they weren’t expecting it. Having only one or two children would be even worse. Do not rely on children to RSVP to the birthday person or their parents: contact the organizer directly to avoid misunderstandings. This also ensures that they have all the details of the parents if something happens that day or if they don’t stay.
There was a post recently about a mother’s controversial decision in the UK to send the father of a child who didn’t show up to her son’s party a bill of £15.95, as a no-show fee (to cover the track of ski fairy). Okay maybe that’s a bit extreme and yes plans change and kids do get sick but if a child RSVPs and can’t attend anymore then it’s courtesy to let the organizer know even if it’s just a message from text.
Sometimes bringing siblings is unavoidable and the organizers appreciate it. Again, it is a courtesy to let them know if siblings are coming and if the party is somewhere like a roller skating rink or movie theater, it is the parent’s responsibility to pay for and supervise those siblings.
For the organizer – deliver the invitations at least 2 weeks before the party; the more notice, the greater chance that people can do it. Be aware of things like Saturday morning sports that can keep many kids from making it. A great tip to keep your invitations from getting lost is to put a magnet on the back so it sticks to the fridge. Also, make sure all communication options are listed, eg mobile phone and email, and RSVP deadline. So there is no excuse for someone not to be able to contact the organizer.
leave or stay
This depends on the location of the party, for example a safe playground across from a park or the family home; age and personality of the child and the relationship with the family of the birthday child. The best thing you can do is to assess the situation when you arrive, for example, how many children are there, the level or supervision, etc. but it would not normally be considered appropriate to leave a preschooler at a party without a parent or a child who might be clingy or insecure.
gift opening
Giving a child a stack of presents and telling him he can’t open it would be like putting a block of Cadbury’s best in front of a chocoholic and telling him he can’t have it. However, it can cause chaos and delay things like gaming or entertainment. The best option is to discuss with the birthday boy in advance when the actual opening will be. The end of the party is good after the entertainment and cake is over, but before everyone leaves so the giver can see the child open her gift. Thank you cards may not be practical if a parent isn’t sitting there opening presents like they would a young child, as they may not even be able to match the gifts to the giver. Parents shouldn’t be too hard on themselves when it comes to this practice, but make sure the birthday boy thanks his friends for her gift and for coming and vice versa.
Provisions
What does the host of the party need to provide? The Merriam-Webster dictionary describes a party as “a social event providing entertainment, food, and drinks.”
How to entertain the kids is probably the second biggest issue behind who to invite and it’s the one aspect of a kids’ party that parents tend to outsource. It depends on the age of the children, the number of children, whether the party host is comfortable entertaining a group of children, and if not, what their budget is. As a guide, young children are happy to play with what is in the home, that is, what the birthday child or the local play center or playground is playing with. Jumping castles, face painters, and hot air balloons are great for preschoolers and party games are good to introduce from ages 5 and up, as are magicians, animal shows, etc. Cinema, roller skating rinks, etc. it is better to leave them for when they are a bit more mature and able to self-regulate their behavior (and coordination!). It is important to be consistent. Don’t raise a child’s expectations with a trip to Dreamworld one year and a takeout dinner at Maccas the next.
The type of food to provide depends on the time of day the party is held. If the party is, say, from 11:00 to 1:00, then a hearty meal is expected at lunchtime. Light refreshments are fine for the afternoon. Also, if there is an expectation that the parents will stay, then they should be provided for as well, especially since they most likely have been running errands beforehand and have probably forgotten to eat. Make sure there is plenty of water and not just sodas and sodas, especially in the summer.
party bags
The kids are exhausted from running around, bellies are full, the cake is ready and it’s time to go home and the first kid out looks expectantly at the party host and whispers in anticipation “are there any party bags?” (well, maybe it’s just my son doing this!). Despite extensive research, it is difficult to locate the origin of “party bags”. They started out as bags of candy, but with the health revolution and the high rate of childhood obesity, they have become frowned upon. But let’s face it, kids are materialists! Who wouldn’t want to receive a small gift? But they also like to give: they enjoy handing out gift bags, especially if they have made or decorated them. It’s up to the host of the party to decide what to give away – it’s a bit pointless to hand over something that’s going to be thrown away within an hour of getting home just to distribute something, but there’s also no need to send them home with a mini Van Gough or an iPod. Something practical they can use or an art/craft activity they can do quietly when they get home will surely be appreciated. Whatever the decision, the intention should be obvious: if party bags are going to be handed out, it’s good to have them on display and entrust the birthday child or a relative to make sure the kids get one when they leave for the party. no one is lost! If there aren’t any party bags, make it light and polite, eg, “Honey, the prize you received on the package pass was our thank you gift.”
In a recent survey conducted (of my own two sons ), when asked what their favorite part of a party is, their answer was “the cake and party bags,” whereas I would spend much more time on decorating and entertaining. It just goes to show that parents are probably unnecessarily stressing over things that the birthday boy and her guests don’t even notice. It doesn’t mean I’m going to stop doing those things because I enjoy them and it’s my contribution to them. However, I outsource things that I don’t like to do, for example, the cake, the food, taking photos, etc. So these are things that I don’t have to stress about and I stay to enjoy the day with the children, which is what it’s all about in the end…