Have you ever stopped to think why you respond to conflict the way you do? This is not just interesting information, but very valuable information for anyone encountering conflict in their life… oh yeah, that’s ALL of us! I don’t remember where I read this information, or I would give it due credit, however this is very good, I just have to share it.
What is conflict?
1. a serious disagreement or argument
2. incompatibility or discrepancy; shock
What do we feel when we have a conflict? We feel a variety of emotions, from anger to fear to pain and so on.
The definition of emotion is: energy in motion
To add to that definition, emotional energy follows the path of least resistance. Where it has gone before it will go again!
Imagine every emotion you’ve ever had. It was, in fact, energy in motion. And it is that we have all experienced the same emotions when we are in the midst of a conflict similar to others that we have experienced before.
This is the part that I find both fascinating and frustrating. Every time we find ourselves in a similar conflict, not only does our emotional energy follow the path of least resistance, but every time that path is taken, the path becomes 10 times stronger! Imagine a path through the grass that a person has walked on. There may be very little evidence that the grass was trodden on. But imagine the same grass after ten people have walked on it and it is becoming quite compacted. Imagine that grass once more after a hundred people have walked on it. There is an undeniably worn path.
If we compare the weed every time we have a particular emotional response… after just three times it’s already had the equivalent of 100 people walking down that road.
It’s not hard to see why, in the midst of conflict, we find ourselves engaging in the same behavior, saying the same words, and experiencing the same outcome.
I often respond poorly to conflict, but it is possible to respond to conflict in better ways as well. Personally, I want to change the cycle so that each time I experience the same or a similar conflict, the path I take to end (or dissipate) the conflict is ten times easier.
Way #1
conflict occurs
Activation/negative emotional response
poor results
emotional upset
Way #2
conflict occurs
Activation/positive emotional response (good/neutral)
best result
emotional break
As a follower of Christ, I am well aware that I am weak in my good intentions. That is why I am counting on God working in me to do this. I want to change and He makes the change.
2 Corinthians 12:9 “…for me (Gods) power is perfected in weakness.” – ESV
Philippians 2:13 “because it is God who produces in you the will and the doing to fulfill his good purpose.” -VIN
Thanks God!