It’s humiliating to find out that your husband is having an affair. It’s also embarrassing and the whole ordeal takes your emotions through a roller coaster. There are different decisions that you, as a wife, must make when you find yourself in this precarious position.
First, if your husband is sorry and wants to reconcile, you must decide if you really want him back. I believe that marriages can survive infidelity. If you choose to accept it, then you will have to deal with another woman.
Men cheat for various reasons; competition, excitement, selfishness, you name it, there’s an excuse for it. Although this is a topic for another article, it is very important that you consider how you contributed to this situation. It is never acceptable to blame the wife for her husband’s cheating. I’m just pointing out that relationships involve two parties and when there is a break, it involves both parties. Advice and repair are crucial to getting through an adventure.
If you decide that getting your husband back is a good decision, be prepared to confront the other woman. Ultimately, it is her husband’s responsibility to officially break it up. This should preferably be done before he returns and you two decide to reconcile. You should never have to contact her. In extreme cases, Fatal Attraction situations, the other woman may not want to end the relationship with her husband.
She may continue to call and text her husband regularly, begging him to reconsider or take her back. Again, it is very important that her husband set clear boundaries. Fight the urge to interfere or replace your husband. It’s extremely difficult when your husband’s phone rings during dinner and he’s the other woman. She may want to respond and give you an idea of what she thinks. Whose. This never goes well. It comes down to a match between you and the woman he left you for.
It is important to remember that she is not primarily to blame. Many women with low self-esteem find it difficult to turn down the advances of a man who shows interest in them. That was your husband. Now that his marriage is on the mend, he still has to deal with the other woman and not put undue pressure on him by allowing him to be disrespectful.
Some suggestions;
Ongoing open honesty helps deal with issues like phone calls, emails, and text messages. If he is still reserved about sharing attempts at communication by the other woman. That is a serious red flag. You need to rebuild the trust that she broke, which means that she cannot hide what is being communicated to her. On the other hand, it’s also important that you don’t get obsessed with her phone number and email.
Consider canceling accounts and changing phone numbers. This is not convenient, but it does serve to break the other woman’s access to her husband.
If things get violent or creepy, don’t be afraid to get the authorities involved. No one has the right to harass you or your family. Relationships end and hearts are mended. The other woman has no carte blanche to upset your family just because she doesn’t want to move on. If her husband’s boundary settings aren’t working and the other woman is crossing the line, a restraining order or complaint tends to put it right.