Dear Business Builder,
A couple of weekends ago, I got my hair wild, packed up my Harley, and headed out to try my luck at Caesar’s Palace in Elizabeth, Indiana.
Not that I’m a masochist, mind you, I just thought putting 1,000 miles of asphalt under my butt would clear my head.
Also, losing a few thousand samoleans at blackjack always motivates me: it seems to make me want to report to work on Monday to start restocking the pantry.
So I took Friday off (me: world’s best boss), jumped out of bed before dawn, grabbed a quick cup of Joe, fired up the ElectroGlide, and roared west on I-40.
The rising sun caught up with me as I ran through the Great Smoky Mountains National Park toward Knoxville. I wish I could tell that I was thinking deep marketing thoughts as I happily moved forward. In truth, my mind was obsessed with how creepy mountains are when it’s dark… when you’re 70… with the wind.
In fact, the only thing that took my mind off the cold was the army of 18-wheelers that, just after sunrise, began screaming at my side on those backless roads and dark, winding tunnels.
“Cheer up!” I told myself. “It’s not getting any colder. Besides, I’ll soon be in the lowlands, on I-75 with its three wide lanes and luxuriously spaced shoulders. My two hours of icy misery, punctuated by moments of pure truck-inspired terror. It won’t last forever.”
And sure enough, I was soon in Kentucky Piedmont, and it was hot as hell at noon. But I kept going; tired, sweaty and covered in road grime. Only a couple hundred miles to go, and each one would be hotter than the last.
Finally, thankfully, I saw Caesar’s Palace shimmering before me in that Indiana cornfield…looking as out of place as a prostitute at a revival meeting.
Before I could say, “Hallelujah,” I restored blood flow to my aching ass… checked into my suite… washed several hundred miles of sand off my body… and begged the salesman to let me buy sure every time he rolled a six. (The girl, bless her heart, she couldn’t burst. Obviously, she never read the book).
I’ll spare you the rest of the tacky gaming details, let’s just say I’m not quitting my day job.
Fortunately, I ran out of time before I ran out of money. It dawned on Sunday morning and it was time to start making my way home.
it rained Drops the size of ball bearings stung my face. My sunglasses fogged up. The water pooled in my crotch and flooded my boots.
As I started up the Smokies again, it was getting colder and wetter with every mile up, and once again, the semis showed no mercy.
By the time I made it up my quarter-mile-long muddy driveway and into the shelter of the garage, I was drenched, shivering, and exhausted.
… And I can’t wait to do it again.
Crazy, huh? I know. But sometimes being a motorcyclist isn’t about the perfect ride.
Sometimes, it’s about hanging on for long, hard miles… pouring yourself a stiff drink… and collapsing exhausted and euphoric into bed while basking in the warm glow of your herculean achievement.
MY POINT – AND I HAVE ONE – IS THIS:
We humans don’t mind working. We will work to earn good money. We will work with enthusiasm to attract a lover. We will work conscientiously to raise good children. We will happily work on a hobby. We will even work (as I did) for a sense of satisfaction and to make a memory.
… But ninety-nine point ninety-nine times out of a hundred, we won’t work to read an unsolicited ad.
See, when we marketers and copywriters approach a prospect with a direct mail piece, a blast email, a print ad, or any other kind of promotion, for that matter, we’re interrupting their life. .
The simple act of putting sales copy in front of a prospect takes them to a fork in their path: it forces them to make a decision to 1) Read or 2) Not read our message.
And every time your eye moves from one sentence to the next… from one paragraph to the next… or from one page to the next… it comes to another fork in the road and decides whether to go or not. continue reading our ad, or abandon it.
As marketers and copywriters, writing a powerful headline to grab their attention is just the beginning. Our job is to make sure the prospect makes the right decision, the decision to continue reading, at each of these forks in the road.
So what could make your potential customer make the wrong decision and throw your promotion in the nearest bin?
The top of my head? Here are five:
1. Interrupt: The kids just pushed the family cat into the dishwasher; the prospect hesitates, but ultimately decides that dealing with the immediate crisis is more pressing than reading his message.
Resource: Pray for the cat.
2. Inadequacy: Your potential customer already has a computer and quickly decides that your computer catalog doesn’t interest him at all.
Resource: Shoot your list broker.
3. Disbelief: Your claims seem so exaggerated or even dishonest that he thinks he can’t trust anything you say.
Resource: Tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
4. Boredom Your copy is so boring that he’d rather eat sushi from a week ago than read on.
Resource: Get a personality.
5. Exhaust: His text is so dense, hard to read, and impossible to follow, that he just gives up.
Resource: Copy that reads itself.
16 WAYS TO WRITE COPY THAT READS ITSELF
Writing Tip #1: Be Organized: If your sales copy is spinning, if it makes the prospect have to think to figure out where they’re going…or if they feel like they’re taking two steps forward and then one step back…you’ve lost it.
Design your sales pitch step by step. Start with a fact that your prospect already knows to be true or can corroborate beyond a shadow of a doubt (using a credible outside source if necessary). Then build your sales pitch logically block by block, each new contention building on the power of the previous one.
Writing Tip #2: Work hard on your transitions: Never annoy the prospect by changing the subject without warning. Create transitions to make it clear why you are moving from one thought, point, or topic to the next.
Writing Tip #3: Try the “3-T” formula: When you’re making an important point in your sales copy, try to build a series of paragraphs where you 1) Tell the prospect what you’re going to say, 2) Tell them, and 3) Tell them what you said. :
Tell them what you are going to tell them:
“Did you know that taking calcium supplements every day can add ten good years to your life?
Tell them:
“A 2004 Harvard study found that those who take vitamins live an average of ten years longer than those who don’t, and are 80 percent less likely to suffer a hip fracture or be admitted to a nursing home” .
Tell them what you told them:
“Calcium doesn’t just add years to your life, it adds life to your years!”
Writing Tip #4: Begin paragraphs with connecting words: Words and phrases such as “and”, “more”, “furthermore”, “in addition”, “what’s more”, etc., point to the copy that follows, nudging the reader to the essence of your sentence and paragraph before they know what hits it.
Writing Tip #5: Start paragraphs with a hook: A powerful word like “you” or “free”, a benefit, a date, a famous name, generates curiosity and provokes the reader.
Writing Tip #6: Short Words, Sentences, and Paragraphs: old rule; has never been more important than in today’s information extravaganza. I try to keep the average word length to between five and seven letters and paragraphs to five lines each.
Writing Tip #7: Replace sentences with single words: Asking your prospect to read more words than necessary is asking them to work.
Instead of …
“Just open a packet of Energize! and put it in a glass of water…”
Try…
“Only to Energize in water…”
Writing Tip #8: Replace long words with short, familiar words: Instead of “facilitate,” say “help.” Instead of “use,” say “use.”
Writing Tip #9: Replace passive words with active words: Instead of “profit,” say “exploit your wealth.” Instead of “limit your risk,” say “reduce your risk.” Instead of “try it for 30 days,” say “Use it to earn as much money as you want for 30 days.”
Writing Tip #10: Replace poorly selected words with the right word for the job: Inaccurate word choice dilutes your sales pitch, or worse, forces your prospect to work to figure out what you’re trying to say.
Innuendo: Excessive use of adjectives and adverbs is a red flag that there may be a more precise noun or verb that allows you to say more with less.
If you’re not sure of the right word, take the time to open a thesaurus. He will pay you back in spades.
Writing Tip #11: Speak colloquially: Metaphors, similes, clichés, and other figures of speech are word pictures. And you know what they say about pictures: they are worth a thousand words.
Plus, using words and phrases your prospect uses to communicate every day helps them communicate more quickly and infuses the copy with energy and emotion.
Writing Tip #12: Eliminate unnecessary words: Read your sales copy ruthlessly for words you can delete without negatively impacting the clarity and/or power of your rewards.
Example: “That” is possibly the most used word in English. You do not believe me? Search through something you’ve written, and each time you find it, ask yourself, “How would this read if I just erased it?”
Copywriting Tip #13: Avoid backwards sentences. Commas are often red flags that the sentences in a sentence are in the wrong order. Check if moving the sentences can remove the comma and make the sentence read faster.
Writing Tip #14: Start sentences with benefits when possible:
Instead of …
Moving your money now will help you avoid big losses.
Try…
You can avoid big losses IF you move your money now!
Writing Tip #15: Make it effortless: Your prospect doesn’t want to learn anything or do anything. He wants you (your product) to do everything for him.
Phrases like “Learn how to…” or “Find out how to…” or “I’ll teach you how to…” imply that the prospect has to do it themselves.
Instead, say, “I’ll save you money.” I will make you richer. I’ll ease your arthritis pain.
Writing Tip #16: Get a second opinion: Once you’ve done all of this, give your sales copy to anyone who agrees to read it and ask them to mark any spots in the copy where they feel confused or want to quit. Then go back to those sections (and this checklist) to find ways to make your copy read itself.