If you’ve been dumped recently and have shared your grief stories with friends and colleagues, you’ve probably noticed something in common in all of their advice. ‘Stay away from your boyfriend’ or better yet ‘ignore him if you want him back’. Oddly enough, even online counselors advise the same thing: walk away, disappear from the scene, etc.
But it can seem very confusing to someone who hasn’t done anything like this before. How is it possible for one to ignore a loved one, especially when he wants to win him back? If you are as confused as I think you are, please read the following tips as they might help you understand this tip:
• A split hits you where it hurts the most: your ego. You just can’t face a rejection and that too from someone you loved so much. So the normal tendency is to beg, plead, or even harass your ex-boyfriend, just to tell him how wrong his decision to leave you was and make him see the point.
• Do you really know what you are doing? You are trying to restore your bruised ego. You ‘think’ that once you get him back, you can make him feel confident once more. You will no longer walk around feeling and looking like a loser.
• What do these desperate gestures mean to your ex-boyfriend? In addition to fully enjoying the extra attention he’s getting, he’s coming to very wrong conclusions about you. When someone is harassed day after day, they obviously think you are a clingy, desperate soul, completely incapable of taking care of yourself! Sorry, this is the way the cookie has always fallen apart. Nothing can be done about the way people think and come to conclusions.
• On the other hand, when you deliberately miss your ex-boyfriend and refuse to contact him, no matter how tempted you may be, the signal you are giving is that he is a loser and not you! As he expects to be pursued, any deviation from his expectations throws him off balance.
• Reflect on your silence, mainly because your position is so sure and decisive. He’s obviously not used to seeing this side of you. And the more he thinks about the matter, the more he realizes your value. He wouldn’t like to be a loser either.
• Although this entire process may initially seem impossible, it has been proven time and time again that giving your ex boyfriend a little push is a sure way to win him back.