Have you had a chance to see the movie “Brave”? I had the opportunity to see it last weekend at the theater and I highly recommend it. In case you’re unfamiliar with the movie, I’ve included a short description taken from CBN.com:
THE MOVIE IN ONE MINUTE
“Police officers Adam Mitchell, Nathan Hayes, David Thomson and Shane Fuller are confident and focused on the job as they serve and protect their community. That same momentum fades at the end of the day when they face their greatest challenge: parenting. Being a “good enough” father is not enough when tragedy strikes and the faith of these four men is put to the test. When secrets are revealed and life becomes unbearable, they must draw closer to God and their families in order to survive. “
I admit that the acting is not what you see in an average Hollywood movie, but the message makes up for it. When Adam Mitchell’s 9-year-old daughter is killed in a car accident, he struggles with his faith, regrets as a father, leading him to take a closer look at himself. On his journey of healing and recovery, Adam immerses himself in God’s Word with the desire to learn what God has to say about being a father.
Adam realizes that he has not been doing a good job leading his family, proactively instilling divine values in his children, and allowing his work to be a priority over quality time with his wife and children. You now understand how short life can be and your need to step out of your comfort zone to be the parent and leader of the family that God has called you to be. Adam creates a “Resolution” document based on what he believes God calls him to be as a parent. Share the “Resolution” with your core group of friends and ask them to hold you accountable for the “Resolution” statements. As a token of his commitment, he prepares to sign the document in front of his friends.
As police officers, they are aware that children who grow up without a parent or with an abusive parent are more likely to commit crimes, use drugs, and end up in gangs. Each of the men through their own experience with their father, and / or as a father, realizes their need to have the courage to step forward and be the man, the leader, the father, that God has called them. To be.
When Adam begins to share his revelations about fatherhood, one of his friends says; “You are good enough, dad.” Adam’s answer is, I don’t want to be a “good enough parent.”
Sometimes it takes a loss, the death of a loved one, or a divorce for us to examine our lives and ask ourselves important questions:
Do I regret my relationship with my loved one or my spouse?
Is there anything you wish you had done differently?
If so, how can I use this experience to change?
What action will I take to avoid regret in the future?
Was I wasting my time wisely? Were my priorities in the correct order?
Did the person know who loved her? How did I show them? I told them?
Below are 7 lessons single parents can take from the movie Courageous and consider for their families:
1. Single parents must step up and be the leader of their home. Single parents have no control over the other parent and how they choose to parent. This means that if you are a single mother, you are responsible for the values you instill in your children. You are the leader, the disciplinarian, the rule maker for your home. Children need structure, rules, and a leader in both homes.
2. The father plays an important role in the lives of children. If your children do not have their father in their life, or if he is a bad role model (has an addiction problem, a mental illness, a criminal, etc.), find a man whom you respect, trust and believe that it would be a positive role. role model for your children and ask if they would be willing to spend time with their children. You can find a male model / mentor at church, youth groups, school, a teacher, coach, instructor, coworker, neighbor, relative, father of one of your children’s friends, or the Big Brothers program can be places to find someone.
3. Have the courage to co-parent without conflict. One of the best things you can do as a single parent for your children is co-parent without conflict. You may not like your ex, but that’s not your kids’ fault. It may seem like a great sacrifice to be the greatest person and avoid conflict, but it is the sacrifice you must make for your children. Your children deserve it and they are worth it.
4. As single parents, you can feel overwhelmed with all your responsibilities. If you’re not careful, you may find us operating in survival mode. Be intentional about healing and health after your divorce. Your children need you to be healthy and present for them. It is never too late to do your job to heal and recover from your divorce.
5. Having support is important. Don’t be afraid to seek help if you are having difficulties. Surround yourself with people who love you and want the best for you. Avoid negative people, add fuel to the flame, speak ill of your ex and encourage yourself to be angry, resentful and seek revenge. Ask people for their support, let them know your plan / goals, and ask them to hold you accountable.
6. Take an interest in your children and their interests. Spend “quality” time with them doing something they like to do or adopt a hobby, sport, or activity that you both enjoy doing together. If your children ask you to spend time with them and you are always too busy, you should pass up a few things and make time. On the other hand, if your kids don’t seem interested or don’t ask you to spend time with them, why not? Have they given up because you are always too busy? You take the initiative.
7. What is your vision for your family and your children? What do you want for your children and your future? What are you doing to make this happen? If you don’t have a vision, a plan, why not? Are you hoping they turn out well and not get in trouble? Now is the time to have them, to help them grow, to lead and guide them and be their parents. Use this time wisely.
You may be a single parent, but don’t let that stop you from being the parent your children deserve, the parent that God has called you to be. Decide to take the time to answer the questions that arise in this article. Create a plan / vision for yourself and your children, identify the steps you need to take, set realistic goals, and determine to be intentional and courageous in reaching your family’s goals.