Put four smart, accomplished women around a kitchen table once a month and what do you get?
If the women are Deborah Collins Stephens, Jackie Speier, Michealene Cristini Risley, and Jan Yanehiro, you eventually get a great book. This Is Not the Life I Ordered is about surviving life’s unexpected challenges.
Between the two of them, the authors have experienced six marriages, ten children, four stepchildren, two miscarriages, one failed adoption, widowhood, and foster care. One was shot and left for dead. Two outlived their spouses. They have built businesses and lost businesses. They have experienced financial wealth beyond their expectations and close to financial ruin. Through it all, they supported each other.
Peppered with quotes, stories, and cartoons, This Is Not the Life I Ordered gives you “50 ways to keep your head above water when life keeps dragging you down.”
Here are some of their strategies:
Suitable for a gathering of friends at the kitchen table.
Get together regularly with a small group of friends you trust and admire. Choose a comfortable and private meeting place. Have everyone answer these questions in turn:
So how is your life?
How can we help?
Who do we know who can help?
What are you happy about right now in your life?
What’s for a laugh?
When we leave here today, what three things do we commit to each other that we will do for ourselves?
Keep your meetings positive and hold them regularly. You will be amazed at what each of you will achieve.
Be willing to make big mistakes.
People learn from their mistakes, often more than from their successes. Don’t stick your head in the sand when you make a mistake. Think like a scientist: it’s all trial and error. You’re going to do a lot of things wrong on your way to doing something important right.
Listen to your inner voice.
Call it female intuition if you want, women really are more intuitive than men. Stay connected with your emotions. Your “intuition” can often guide you more successfully than any amount of supposedly logical self-talk. Stay in tune with that little inner voice. Listen when he speaks and act accordingly.
Recognize that chocolate melts to take on a new shape.
There may be times in your life when you have to reinvent yourself. People affected by Hurricane Katrina had their lives ripped out before their eyes. When something like this happens, it’s hard to know who to trust or what to do. Those are the times when it’s good to remember that chocolate can be melted, but sooner or later it reforms into a new form. That new form can be stronger and better: it will surely be just as tasty. Always remember to look ahead and rejoice in your next form.
These are just a few examples of the words of wisdom in This Is Not The Life I Ordained. Get a copy from your local library or buy it at your favorite bookstore. It’s a good book to have around when you’re feeling down or when you just want great stories and tips to help you feel better.