Sex scenes in movies are usually romantic, sensual, and steamy. Sometimes they are a little awkward, sometimes funny or funny, and sometimes a little disturbing. Then there are the scenes that are downright disgusting.
In honor of Universal Pictures’ The Change-up, which will be available on Blu-ray and DVD starting January 23, these dirty sex scenes are exactly what we’re celebrating. In the film, Mitch (Ryan Reynolds) has a weekly date with Tatiana (Mircea Monroe), a 9-month-pregnant woman he apparently met in childbirth class. While she’s lovely, the scene is anything but when she walks into the flat demanding wild animal sex.
Feeling very sorry for Dave (Jason Bateman), who is trapped in Mitch’s body at the time of the encounter, we decided to trace the past two decades and relive other movies that made us wince, cringe, and blindfold ourselves.
10. Harold and Kumar go to the white castle, 2004
Kumar (Kal Penn) shows the world just how intense a love affair with drugs can be as he moans with pleasure during sex with a giant bag of weed. While apparently every stoner’s dream comes true, it’s questionable how this asexual bag of weed is able to do so much without any real body part.
9. American Pie, 1999
In one of the most classic scenes of sex with an inanimate object, we cringe when Jim (Jason Biggs) is caught by his father having sex with his mother’s freshly baked cake. He forever changed the meaning of warm apple pie and made us ponder the similarities between baked goods and sex.
8. Jack Frost, 1996
Jim’s American Pie crush, Shannon Elizabeth, was previously squashed by a murderous snowman in this cult classic, most notable for its hilariously poor acting. Although intended as a terrifying rape scene, the result is a sordid sexual encounter between a snowman and a teenage girl. Besides the fact that Frosty looks like a giant marshmallow, the grossest part about her is probably that he’s poking her with his carrot nose.
7. Good Luck Chuck, 2007
Having women literally lining up to sleep with you probably sounds like heaven to most guys. Chuck (Dane Cook) discovers that it can be the opposite when you do it with the kind of monsters who are more focused on praying to God the Savior than pleasing you, or have a George W. tattoo on top of their, um, bush.
6. Step Brothers, 2008
Dale (John C. Reilly) is caught off guard in the men’s room when his stepbrother’s wife goes wild and demands sex. After jumping on pieces of her and pushing back and forth in a manner that eerily resembles a woodpecker, she tells him, “Stay golden, pony boy” before lifting one leg up and urinating in the urinal. Dale thinks it’s awesome, and it is if you like fast sex and women who like men.
5. Team America: World Police, 2004
In this controversial sex scene (nine edits had to be shown to the Motion Picture Association of America before it was approved), we see puppets from every possible angle their plastic bodies allow. While their creepy smiles don’t change at all during romp, their positions change quite a bit – each one making us wonder more and more what the hell we’re doing watching the dolls’ disturbing sex.
4. Hangover Part II, 2011
While we don’t actually see the sex scene between Stu (Ed Helms) and the Thai transvestite he has emotional sex with while drunk, our imaginations are free to conjure up some pretty dirty images. What we get to see is Stu’s priceless reaction when ‘she’ reveals her private parts and he accepts the fact that he made love to a woman.
3. The Change, 2011
Dave (Jason Bateman), while trapped in Mitch’s (Ryan Reynolds) body, is seduced by a very pregnant and horny woman, who is looking forward to their weekly sex session. She lunges at him, her huge bare belly leading the way, and attacks the disgusted Dave-as-Mitch. Yes, pregnant women are beautiful, but not when you can see her baby’s foot sticking out through her enlarged stomach. The next scene isn’t much better, as Mitch-as-Dave is made aware of Dave’s naked wife making a huge poop in the toilet.
2. Bad Santa Claus, 2003
Billy Bob Thornton shows us a side of Santa we never wanted to see when he has anal sex with a hooker in the locker room at work. The scene practically destroys the visions we had as children of jolly old Saint Nicholas and sweet Mrs. Clause of him.
1.Kingpin, 1996
Roy Munson (Woody Harrelson) opts for repulsive sex with his landlady instead of paying the rent. After sex, as he vomits like a projectile into the toilet, she questions the relationship between good sex and good fucking: “What is it about good sex that always makes me have to shit? I guess it’s all that pumping. Pumping And throw.’ That poetic.