Last night I was talking to a group of friends after a dance competition; we often catch up at a nearby restaurant and talk after these events. For a while we were talking about different people we had danced with and what it was like to lead and follow. The old topic of what was a good lead came up. During this conversation the topic of the use of the word ‘strong’ came up.
You may not know it, but men and women often use the word “strong” differently.
For men, the word basically means possessing strength. That he is a strong person he has strength and he can apply that. This is why it’s possible for a dance teacher here to say “give me a strong hint” and then shortly after, you hear her say “don’t squeeze my hand so tight”. The man hears the word “strong” and assumes that more strength is needed.
For women, the word is very contextual. There may be strong colors. There may be strong words. There may be strong personalities. There can also be physically strong people. Of course, there can also be solid clues.
What do women mean when they say “strong lead”?
In this context, we can be guided by the signal detection theory. Signal detection theory is about how clear a signal is relative to signal distortions. If someone is talking to you and there is a lot of noise around, then the signal is relatively weak. On the other hand, if the noise is lower or the voice is raised, the signal becomes stronger.
A strong clue is clear in the sense that it can be detected and clear in its intent.
A soloist’s signal will be weak if the associated movement is small compared to the other movements in the dance. A prospect’s signal will also be weak if the prospect himself is not sure what he really wants.
To have a strong edge, first know what you want to achieve. Second, make sure your leadership is clear in relation to other movements. This could mean clear strength. However, it could also simply mean a clear move. It could also mean that you need to reduce random movements and forces that you apply unintentionally while dancing.
You can imagine how a lead that only moves when it’s time to flag a lead would be seen as a strong lead. There is no indecision with this person, he knows where he is going and how he will get there. That’s a strong clue.
If you are learning to lead, then work to be that way. If you are teaching someone to lead, be sure to explain the use of the word “strong” in leading.