Being a young mother can be extremely overwhelming, and sometimes it is difficult to know how to be a loving mother and at the same time discipline your child. Sometimes it is through trial and error that we learn to raise our children. There is no perfect way.
I got pregnant at eighteen. I wanted to have a home birth. She lived in an alternative hippy area of Australia called Byron Bay, which was a beautiful place to be pregnant. I loved reading about midwifery and health and the processes of my inner little boy’s developmental stage. Being pregnant I felt powerful and full of light carrying the energy of the earth mother goddess.
Nine months pregnant a day, I looked in the mirror while brushing my teeth and noticed that my face looked ripe like a cherry. Thirty hours later I gave birth to a beautiful girl.
I was in love with her the moment I saw her. She was the center of my life. I had three more children in the next 11 years.
I felt that the early years of motherhood were easy. I loved being a housewife and giving sustenance. I never felt that I should impose my ways on my son, as I wanted them to find theirs. He was totally against indoctrination at any level. Looking back, maybe if I knew myself better I would have more guidance, but I was also a kid and was learning about life too.
I’ve always wanted a manual to pop up instantly out of nowhere letting me know if I’m doing or saying the right thing. Motherhood is not easy!
The things that I know have not been passed on to me. I have learned what I have through trial and error.
Looking back, I know so much more now than I did then. I wish someone had given me these tips as a young mom:
1. Make sure your child eats fresh and healthy food (food intake affects the child’s mood)
2. Make sure your child plays sports or exercises regularly (a child who spends time in nature doing sports or exercising is a happier child)
3. Teach your children the beauty of the natural environment (the moon, sunsets, tree leaves, flowers)
4. Teach your children to respect the elders (at home the elders are in charge, not the children)
5. Communicate with your children every day in a conversation about their day and how they feel about things and how you feel too.
6. Eat at the table every day with your children (they will learn to eat well and appreciate the union)
7. Play sweet music around the house often.
8. Inspire your children to read by reading to them often have your child learn an instrument (children can process emotions by playing music)
9. Teach your children manners (that is, say hello when you see a new adult family friend visit). They go a long way in life.
10. Say good morning to your children when they get up and goodbye when you leave.
11. Let your children watch television only on special occasions. Try to get them to watch educational channels instead of trash and drama.
12. Put your children to bed with the usual background noise in the house (they should learn to sleep as life goes on around them).
13. Teach your children the joy of giving (every birthday or Christmas helps them get excited to give others more than just wanting gifts)
14. Teach your children to close their eyes and be quiet 5 minutes of each day (they will learn to know themselves)
15. Don’t give in too easily to a child’s demands (children love to feel their limits, because when they do they feel safe)
16. Teach your children to share the toy they like best sometimes.
17. Teach your child to make his own bed and clean his own room from an early age (it is a lesson in self-respect)
18. Play with your child and act like monkeys who laugh often
19. Listen carefully to your child and answer all their questions (when possible)
20. Be loving with your children (lots of hugs every day!)
21. Don’t take anything personally from your teens (it’s just a stage and hopefully it will pass soon)
22. Remember to breathe
23. Praise your children often
24. Teach your children simple prayers from a young age (it will make them feel the presence of a higher existence outside of themselves)
25. Let your children know that you are happy (if you are). Children may feel unhappy and may worry about their parents. They will be relieved if you inform them that it is okay.
This is just a small drop in the bucket in the huge task of being a mother. There is much more. Perhaps if all the mothers in the world could contribute to the list, eventually a manual would be written, but in general, children need to feel love and that is the one constant in the ups and downs of motherhood.
GOOD LUCK! TO ENJOY!