I had a famous client in my private practice a couple of months ago and when his session was over, he sat on the massage table and politely said, “Can we have sex now, please?” I was surprised by the request and I wasn’t sure I heard correctly so I said, huh? He repeated his request and I jokingly replied “not today, maybe next time” with a nervous giggle and continued to give my follow-up care suggestions. Well he was friendly, very open to the energy and therapy I gave him and let’s face it, most people will be in a “very loving head space” at the end of a good massage. He didn’t want to change that abruptly. She came back for one more session, but now I wonder if she did because I said “maybe next time” instead of answering that sex was not on my menu of services. As I was a bit surprised by their request, joke or not, I decided that I would always refer clients to my Service Menu and remind them that I am not licensed to practice anything else, especially what is illegal.
Earlier this week, I posted on my fan page that I was looking for a new place to reopen for business. I would be open to suggestions that allow foot traffic, signage, and are low-budget and not hampered by anything related to pornography. A colleague emailed me, reiterating his previous advice that I exit any porn industry related business as owners are less willing to rent space to these businesses. This, even though my colleague knows I’m not doing porn massages, and there are reputable and legal places here for legitimate body work. He has not been to my practice, because he prefers to have a happy ending after his massage and that is why he goes to these other places that offer that. It’s not really “my loss” …
At a stage in my career / business where I, as a single woman with no support from anyone, am struggling to survive along with everyone else who doesn’t want to “cross over”, these suggestions are kind of a good … heart. It is not enough to worry that some psychopath or pervert is going to request a massage that they chose me to go out and do; or worse, maybe he will come over to my house for the massage and do something to ruin my sacred space. I am no better than doing porn massages and I would actually make more money and live better if I had to cross over. This has been told to me by many of the male colleagues in this area. Some people I played poker with were very frank with me and indicated that if I offered them happy endings, they would be there three times a week. I am a beautiful woman and I cannot change how men think and they are especially those who ask for massages. How disheartening for those who want their chosen field of work to be anything but lewd, lewd, and pornographic. All I want to give is clean, healthy, therapeutic healing and rejuvenation through a clean, healthy conduit with wonderful, loving hands and hearts. These scenarios are the reasons why I despise the words masseur and masseuse. They involve an erotic touch, something immoral and, well, … embarrassing … unless you are a “person of the night”, an escort, a prostitute proud and happy to be that. I AM A MASSAGE THERAPIST, OFFERING MASSAGE THERAPY; IT’S NOT THE SAME AS THESE PROUD PROSTITUTES.
Understandably, Wikipedia says, “Those who practice massage as a career are referred to as masseurs, masseurs, or, if they are certified, as massage therapists.” The words masseur and masseuse come from a French word, Masser, which means “to massage”, “to knead” (as in bread), “to rub”, “to dough or to huddle”. Therefore, the masseuse (woman) and the masseur (man) do the “rubbing” or [therapeutically] “Group or agglomerate” your broken spirits, bodies and energies, so that they heal, become whole again to go out and face your challenges. These are the feelings behind my massage practice. I want to help people to be whole again, even for a moment, so that they can heal little by little and face their challenges with a loving feeling and perhaps loving thoughts in their hearts. This was the original meaning of those words, although at some point they became popular in the whorehouses of Europe, Asia and America.
I belong to a religion where modesty is a big problem. I have told many that I am a masseur and I watch the expressions on their faces. Some have taken my card / number, possibly to “investigate”, while others take it but will never call. Others have chosen not to associate with me because well, (1) I have dreadlocks, which for some is a rebellious and immodest hairstyle, among other things; and (2) they imagine that I am doing something “ungodly” in my massage business and God knows where else I am ungodly in my way and therefore I must be considered a bad associate. If I say that I am a therapist, they instantly assume a “physiotherapist” … and that’s fine … but not a masseur … they don’t know about that …
I have wondered what they would do if I said that I was a gynecologist or a urologist. Hmm … I wonder if they would have a similar reaction. After all, these professionals look at vaginas and penises, etc. all day! These are the same people who go to the doctor and strip for exams and have no idea if the doctor is a pervert, a child molester, a rapist or whatever, or cares if he shares your beliefs. They simply trust that he or she is a “doctor”, therefore it is fine and they do not assume any sexual connotations in this job. However, our society has degraded so much that people believe that sex and sexuality must be linked to every loving feeling or touch outside of that. It is “normal” to believe that one cannot touch another in a massage setting with only “therapeutic, not sexual” intentions. One client told me that I was being “absurd” and “unbelievable”, when I replied that I was not thinking about any of that when I massaged him or any other client. He couldn’t believe that I couldn’t have any sexual reaction to him or to any other sexy man or woman I gave therapy to. How unfortunate …
I recently renewed my certification with the California Massage Therapy Council. The recertification questionnaire posed the following questions (among others), the answers to which would determine my legal qualification and that of any “legitimate therapist”:
“Step 2: Professional Status Questions – A” Yes “answer to any of the following questions requires a separate statement explaining in your own words the full details about the incident or event. All supporting documentation must be attached to your application Recertification at that time is filed with the California Massage Therapy Board (“CAMTC”). CAMTC reserves the right to request additional documentation as necessary. Failure to disclose information is considered an attempt to obtain a certificate for fraud, misrepresentation or error and is grounds for denial, suspension or revocation of a CAMTC Certificate.
1. Since the date you signed and dated your initial CAMTC certification application, have you received an administrative subpoena related to, or been denied a license or license renewal to practice massage therapy or any other profession in any city , county, state, country or jurisdiction?
2. Since the date you signed and dated your initial application for CAMTC certification, have you held a license, certificate or permit to practice massage therapy, operate a massage establishment, or any other license, permit or certificate to practice any Another profession revoked, suspended or acted on in another way (including administrative citation, probation, fine, reprimand or delivery of license, permit or certificate)?
3. Since the date you signed and dated your initial application for certification to CAMTC, have you had or is there currently pending against you in any city, county, state, country or jurisdiction, a complaint against your professional conduct (sexual misconduct or otherwise) or professional competence?
4. Since the date you signed and dated your initial CAMTC certification application, have you been arrested and have criminal charges been brought against you under section 647 (b) of the penal code or any other act punishable as a crime related to sex?
5. Since the date you signed and dated your initial CAMTC certification application, have you been convicted of any crime other than a minor traffic violation? Convictions MUST be reported even if they have been adjudicated, dismissed, expunged, or a diversion program has been completed. The definition of “conviction” includes a declaration of nolo contendere (no contest), as well as declarations or verdicts of guilt. It MUST include both misdemeanors and felony convictions.
If you have answered yes to any of the questions above, please send us your written statement outlining full details about the incident or event. “
This one was exceptionally notable: “I understand and agree that the renewal of my CAMTC certificate may be denied for unprofessional conduct if I practice massage in a massage establishment, or own a massage establishment, which is advertised in any orientation section sexual or adult. of any kind of medium, whether printed or digital. “
Yes, some people will lie in response to these questions, but for how long, since it is the Department of Justice and the FBI that are behind the CAMTC and our documents are scanned. So it is very clear to me that there is a mass movement to gain greater respect for the craft of massage therapy and for legitimate therapists to stay together, separate from the “rub and pull” houses with their masseurs and masseurs. . If you are not French, do not use “masseuse or masseuse” to describe your therapist unless you are performing an erotic massage. Hell, even if you’re French and you know these words have a negative connotation in the field of bodywork, don’t use them to describe this legitimate trade. Follow CAMTC’s lead and set the standard for your practice and what you, as a consumer, expect from your massage establishments.
Therapists should consider whether they are providing a service that they can be proud of in any discussion. Are you a very happy masseuse / masseuse willing to rub and pull? Set the bar and draw the line. Do you want clients to respect you and your abilities? People say who they are at the same time that they say what they do. I am Dr. So-and-So; I’m a so-and-so professor; I’m Detective Jones. Not once have I asked what someone did for work and the answer was that he was an escort, an erotic masseuse, etc. I proudly declare that I am a certified legal massage therapist. I have no desire to do anything shameful in this business. I seek to nurture and build a clientele that appreciates what I do for them, their health, and is generous in spirit to maintain the circle of love. I am looking for clients who have not sold themselves to the idea that love contact should be sexual. Together, perhaps, we can help heal the world, one body at a time, and make love, caring, and the healing touch so positive and popular that one does not need to associate it with sex regardless of parasympathetic. responses to this much needed therapy.
I gave my card to someone I met a few days after writing this article and they called me to find out “how long I have been a masseur.” When I said I was not a “masseur”, he corrected himself and asked what the difference was … Hopefully this discussion helps clear up a lot of things for the other inquisitive minds and helps to dignify the ones that are real and legal.