Murphy’s Law states that “if things can go wrong, they will”. In the case of public speaking there are always things that can go wrong. It would be safe to say that Murphy’s Law always applies in some way. Sometimes the presentation goes so well that you ignore the little things that didn’t happen as they should. They were not worth even considering as they developed. At other times the ‘house falls down!’ An example of the above: The assigned capacity is slightly lower than that of the people who attend. You could tell something went wrong. But it was so easy to remedy that it was hardly worth mentioning. You pull out some more chairs. On the other hand, if the entire building had to be evacuated because the fire alarm went off, then it’s worth mentioning.
things fall
I was at a conference over the weekend where the ‘sound man’ went around the back of a screen to alter something. He brought down a curtain, which knocked off the end of a pole that knocked over a flag stand, the end of which struck an audience member on the head. Memorable? Yes. Especially to the person who was hit on the head. But even here the show goes on virtually without interruption.
In this essay on things that go wrong I would like to present my own experience. I am doing this so that you, dear reader, are aware of some of the more common occurrences in Murphy’s Law. Of course, a large volume could be written on the subject, but I will limit it to a few areas: places, dates of lectures, and a small variety of miscellaneous events that have occurred during the thirty years that I have been speaking. My experience is wide. It would be fair to say that of the 850 or so presentations I’ve done, I would have presented at least two hundred different places. These range from small church halls to large conference centers.
Ensure correct geographic location
Firstly, let’s talk about Speaking Dates, as just this morning I showed up to perform at a Probus Club that I’ve been to thirteen times already, only to find out that the place no longer exists. The bowling club where they used to meet had closed. It is obviously waiting to be demolished, probably to build housing units. My reservation was firm; made ten months earlier. Since I had been in this group so many times, I assumed that everything would be routine. I had not received any calls to tell me that the headquarters of this Probus club had changed.
On another occasion, I turned up at a certain bowling club only to be told, “No, it’s not here. It’s probably in…” And sure enough, it was. The person who booked me had given me the wrong place name. Fortunately, the meeting place was only a ten-minute drive away, so I wasn’t late.
Names can be misleading
On at least two occasions, due to not being specific enough myself, I showed up at places only to find them closed (incorrect date recorded by me) or the group I should be speaking to was waiting for me elsewhere. Jump to a conclusion because one wait the name of the group to match the name of the suburb or place is a common mistake. For example, you would expect the Winston Hills Club to meet in Winston Hills, not Baulkham Hills. Hopefully the Parramatta Club will meet in Parramatta, not Northmead. My point is that on-site mix-ups can and do happen even when one is careful.
Murphy’s Law is serious if you miss a presentation due to a mix-up like this. Of those 850 presentations that I have given, I have forgotten to appear on three occasions. That is really embarrassing. I didn’t look at the calendar on my kitchen wall that morning or the night before. My car broke down once. And I’ve had a couple other cases where I haven’t been able to do it. Say half a dozen misses out of 850 times. “That’s not so bad,” you might say. Well, that’s less than one percent…
It is bad. The people who book you are not having fun. They may say they forgive you, but it could be a couple of years before they risk hiring you again. Reliability is very important if you want a good reputation as a presenter.
Problems being seen and heard
These can range from horrible acoustics and no microphone to room setup, even the shape of the room.
Most Common Problem – Microphones
The traveling microphone ‘renounces the ghost’. it will not work; discharged internal battery. The program organizer never thought to have spare batteries or a spare microphone on hand. If you have a large audience, don’t be tempted to “raise your voice and project” for that forty-minute speech. You will regret. Let the organizer fix the problem.
I can remember one day that I arrived at a place and found around eighty men waiting for me to speak. There was no microphone and there was a very loud children’s Christmas party in an adjoining room. The organizer was quite upset when I said that he was not prepared to talk about that noise. “Get me a microphone and I’ll go on.”
“We don’t have one.”
I went and sat down. Twenty-five minutes later, a microphone finally appeared. Someone had driven home to get one, apparently. Oh, and it went well. When I started, the children’s party was over and most of them had gone home.
This refusal was not a matter of being petulant or picky. If you ruin your vocal chords screaming to be heard, when you have to see the throat specialist for those nodules in your larynx you’ve developed, no function organizer will pay the costs or help you improve. Be wise. Be brave enough to say no.
In another essay I describe how the microphone I was given carried my voice not only to my audience but to every nook and cranny in a huge sports complex. They heard me in the restaurants, the cafeteria, the foyer, the other meeting rooms, the pool, the gym, and even in the bathrooms. The central audio control hadn’t been fixed, so that particular mic only came through the speakers in the room I was speaking in. Probably the largest audience I’ve ever addressed… albeit only for about three minutes.
Smoke detectors
In yet another essay, I describe how the place I was speaking in was almost evacuated three times because the fire alarm went off. The people were on their feet. Each time it was found to be a false alarm. Finally, the cause was found: a woman sneaked into a small room nearby to smoke a cigarette. The cigarette smoke set off the alarm throughout the building.
horrible rooms
Many times the room is too big for the public. They give you a room that can easily fit 800 people and your audience numbers thirty. Oh, and they’ve set up 150 chairs. The opposite also happens: the room is too small for the number of attendees. But this is much less common. The ideal: full room, every seat filled, not half of what most speakers would like to happen.
But often it is the room itself that is not suitable for a speaker. Too much glass. Very light. Too dim Platform floor with multiple levels in one room. Ceiling too high for good acoustics. Speaking under a dome where your own voice reflects like an echo. The worst I experienced was an L shaped room. Dinkum right! L-shaped. Half the audience sitting around the corner out of sight. To do?
Obvious answer: speak from the corner where you can see both sides of the room. Problem: That’s where the glass wall and glass door are. You will be facing away from the entrance.
sit too far
This is very common. A lectern is set up on a podium away from the front row of the audience. Don’t be tempted to speak from there. Move down to be closer to the audience. Condition? If the audience numbers in the hundreds, it’s okay to be twenty-five feet in front of them and elevated on a stage. If the audience is only forty or fifty, get down to their level and stand ten to twelve feet in front of that front row. Your intuition will tell you how far you need to go to develop the contact you want.
These are some of the many cases where Murphy’s Law prevails when it comes to public speaking. Take note of them. Some can lessen the impact with proper preparation and diligence; others are out of your control all together. May your speaking experiences be mostly good. By that I mean that Murphy sympathizes with your desire to give the best presentation you are capable of.