Retirement. After endless years of daily grind, it’s goodbye tension, hello pension. No more lies to the boss about “that date” or “fell-down-the-stairs-and-broke-my-arm” excuses. Now is the time to kick off your shoes, turn on the TV, and eat cake (and lots of it) because the gateway to the golden years is near.

If you know someone who is about to step into the never-ending coffee break experience, you’ll want to treat them to some traditional, contemporary, and personalized retirement gifts.

Sure, we’ve all received a bad gift. Maybe it was your grandmother’s handwoven bird jumper that caused a quick beating on the playground. Maybe it was that re-gifted mug that said “Sarah” on it (your name is John).

Bad gifts like to say that something is better than nothing. This is not true. So without further ado, here are some retirement gift ideas for men and women you’ll want to steer clear of …

Re-given books. Most of us have been guilty of re-gifting at some point in our lives, but gifted books take the cake, especially if they still have that handwritten note for the original recipient. Repeat the mantra: “Re-gifted books = the most vulgar ideas for retirement forever. “

Cheap wine. If you’re going to give poor quality wine as a retirement gift, at least buy a decent bottle. What retiree, after God knows how many years of the 9-5 grind, would really appreciate wine that tastes like vinegar?

Bathroom scales. Excellent. After all that hard work, is that what you get from your million pound corporation, or you … thank you! Nothing says “you need to lose a few pounds” more than a bathroom scale. Take a mental note: bathroom scales no make good, smart, or fun retirement gifts.

Piggy banks. Hello? Piggy banks can be a great gift for kids, but not for a man or woman in their sixties. Come on, is throwing loose change into a piggy bank supposed to make you feel like a young, professional person capable of handling your own money? I do not believe it.

Retirement is filed with the wrong name or initials. Perhaps one of the most embarrassingly thoughtless retirement gifts for men and women is those personalized with the wrong name or initials. they are more like insults with a bow on top.

Retirement gifts with message. When the urge comes to buy a retiree a scrawled ‘retired but not expired’ t-shirt, just keep walking. Unless the person you’re shopping for is under the age of 16, your retirement gift will likely turn into a rag.

Instead of giving any of the above, why not welcome them to emancipatory freedom with personalized retirement gifts? You can add the retiree’s name to your gift, plus a cheeky goodbye message of your own. So maybe: “Welcome to be your own boss!” or “You’re already over the hill!” Okay, maybe not. Jokes that were funny at a 40th birthday party may not be as entertaining now.

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