Yes, it’s that time of year again, when businesses around the world are getting more festive than ever, with Christmas music playing in every building, stunning decorations, and of course, a huge party to celebrate the season.
At these parties, you are sure to join in the conversation with your colleagues. What an opportunity this gives you to network with newcomers and enrich long-standing business associations!
Of course, you don’t want to can these conversations, because they would seem artificial and robotic. However, it is helpful to keep a few guidelines in mind that will make the evening more enjoyable for everyone you associate with, and will make your teammates remember you more favorably. So I suggest you consider these four tips for chatting at your club’s annual party.
FIRST: Stay away from politics. Because so many of us stay informed by watching the news, we get saturated with interviews and commentary about who’s the good guys and who’s the bad guys. Most of us hope that when we go to our corporate party, we won’t be bombarded again with talk of prosecutions, treason, accusations, trials, resignations, firings, inappropriate comments, email misuse, and other distressing topics.
Not only are you and your colleagues tired of listening to political pundits who seem to get paid by the word, there’s another fact to consider: in most cases, talking about politics isn’t going to change anyone’s mind. no one, neither yours nor theirs. What happens instead is that very stubborn people will become frustrated, angry, and even hostile.
The recent funeral of President George HW Bush reminded me of his call for a “kinder and gentler nation.” Unfortunately, we are not there yet. Too many fans chafe when more moderate individuals question his judgment.
SECOND: Stay highly positive. This is not a time for gloom and doom. We have a lot of that the rest of the year. For a couple of hours, we all want to relax and stay upbeat. Examples:
–We may be tempted to say, “The service at our table seems especially slow. That table over there is enjoying dessert, while our main course hasn’t even arrived yet.”
Instead of that negative approach, you could comment, “Well, I noticed another table got their dessert before we got our food. But I commend those food service professionals–they have quite a job serving so many meals at the same time.” Impressive how well they do it!
–Again, we may be tempted to say, “Aren’t you shaking? Below freezing outside, and it feels like that in here, too”? It’s much better to stand up and say, “I’m going to ask our host if he can adjust this thermostat. I think we’ll be more comfortable with a couple of degrees warmer.”
It reminds me of one of the times my wife and I took a cruise. Every night we ate with the same two couples. One couple was jovial, optimistic and positive. The other couple spent the entire dinner talking about everything that had gone wrong that day. Guess which couple we fondly remember and would like to dine with again.
THIRD: For tip number three, be very careful with your jokes and off-the-cuff comments. Headlines throughout the year have confirmed this new reality: language that might have previously been tolerated has become unacceptable, offensive, and, in extreme cases, leading to highly undesirable advertising and even legal action.
Naturally, we can still compliment another partygoer on his looks and how well he dances. Tastefully expressed compliments are welcome. Good judgment tells us which language boundaries we should not cross.
FOURTH: My fourth tip is also very important for conversation. I read this advice somewhere a long time ago: “When you’re having a conversation, make sure to blurt it out once in a while.”
Think for a minute about the men and women you most enjoy being with. You most likely won’t name the gentlemen or ladies who tell many long-winded stories that dominate time with you. Quite the contrary… you will
have high esteem for the acquaintance who makes comments like these:
“Very interesting… tell me more… so what happened?”
When you become the most enthusiastic listener at your club party, you can easily become the most memorable conversationalist.
Finally, I recommend putting these conversation tips into practice at your company’s New Year’s Eve party. You’ll be glad you did, and so will everyone you associate with at the event.